Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
