I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
