Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize