Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
