is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
