I heard we made out
nut hugger
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
