Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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