bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
