I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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