redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
