chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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