its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
