If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
