i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
