All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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