wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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