Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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