I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize