I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's great music for shaving your balls
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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