sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
