Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
