What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have fence marks all over my body
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
