Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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