i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
