last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
