I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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