i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
