you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
