so that wasnt chicken after all
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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