well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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