Kiss
Puke
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
