At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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