i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
