that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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