Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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