Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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