You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
