FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
