Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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