For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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