he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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