Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
