miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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