I accidentally burped into my bong.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
