Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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