I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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