I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
