well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize