so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
