Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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