I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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