i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
