so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
