a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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