Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
