you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
