Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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