I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
