vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
