you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize