I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
