someone get that fucking seahorse.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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