4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
