I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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