so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
