I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
